Whoops, it’s VEGAN! oh wait…nevermind.

Lately, I’ve been indulging in a particular vegan dish that is so satisfying to eat I had to share it. There is nothing weird about it, except that it’s vegan. I didn’t even intend it to be vegan, it just happens to be. Here it goes:

1. Heat up mixture of seseme oil, chili oil, and regular oil and fry some chopped up ginger. You can peel your ginger ahead of time if you want, but I never do, because it seems like too much work. The heat is medium high.

2. Add the cubed tofu. I use a full brick of “extra firm.” Let the edges of the tofu get a little brown.

3. I had some old radishes in the fridge so I added that too! My tofu is getting a little tore up here, I don’t give a fuck.

4. Here’s the sauce for this stir fry. It’s just miso paste and water. That’s it. Stir it around so that the paste is smooth and runny. It looks like I used about a 1/4 cup of miso paste here and an arbitrary amount of water.

5. Add that to the sauce to the pan. That shit is gonna bubble and sizzle!

6. Add the sugar snap peas! Add these later than sooner! I like when they JUST turn bright green and are still crispy.

7. Those little black pubes are HIJIKI seaweeds. It adds more body to the flavor.

8. I served this over a bed of freshly steamed premium short-grain japanese white rice. And then I put a hard boiled egg on top, but I suppose that can be optional.

I do not even think about meat when I eat this.

RICE KRISPIE PORTRAIT BUST

Yesterday was our dear friend’s Shawn Lovejoy’s birthday! Lauren Gregory and I were hanging out together that day anyway (she was painting my portrait!), so we wanted to do something special for our special friend. We decided to make him an edible platform for which he can blow out all his 69 candles.

I know that Shawn doesn’t particularly enjoy eating sweet things, but we wanted to make something for Shawn that highlighted one of his greatest assets: his handsomeness.

Rice Krispie treats seemed like a good way to go, because even the most savory tongue cannot resist this texture-overloaded marshmallow snack. Plus, in a bar setting, this sort of dessert is conducive to catering to a tipsy crowd, with no patience for plates and forks, and can act as a willing carb sponge for the liquid spirits swimming in our stomachs.

Rice Krispie treats proved to be a great sculpting material! When the marshmallow and cereal mixture is JUUUSST mixed together and the marshmallow glue is still warm, THIS is when it is the MOST MALLEABLE! Lauren was all over this. She grabbed the stick of butter like it was some chapstick, and smeared it all over her hands. This creates a resist, so that the goopy marshmallow rice cereal mix doesn’t stick to your hands as you’re sculpting it. I did the same, and we smooshed it around for a while until it looked like a handsome guy. The handsome guy shape we made kept slumping to look like a handsome FAT guy.

We used marshmallow/chocolate cereal mix for the hair. Also, confession, we did not use anything brand name. Real brand name Rice Krispies at the store was like $8.00?!?!? We found a great generic equivalent for $1.99. Also, we used generic marshmallows as well. We found some great strawberry-flavored marshmallows shaped like hearts for $0.99/bag! Mixed with the beige rice cereal, the pink strawberry marshmallows made quite a nice realistic flesh tone!

The eye cavity area was a little tricky to sculpt. He was not quite “handsome.” Finally we put some real fashion sunglasses on him, and he looked like the baddest motherfucker.

We brought it to the party and everyone ate it and looked happy.

 

DISHWASHER CUISINE


One night, Emily Weidemann had the bright idea to cook dinner in the dishwasher. She supplied the fresh fish and leftovers, and I brought over some perogies and artichokes.

The dishwasher only got about as hot as around 225 degrees or so in the dry cycle, so things that need reheated, or don’t need much to cook did well (fish, reheated pasta, perogies). The artichokes totally failed. I tried putting the artichokes through a few more cycles in the dishwasher, but after about 3 cycles, I realized it was pretty silly and futile, and gave up on the artichokes. We ate everything else, and it was totally fine!

Wrap-N-Mat

So here’s just a little quickie about this cool little thing I picked up. They have been around forevah, but I ‘ve never gotten one until a few weeks ago.

And it’s pretty good so far, it does all the stuff it says it will, easy to close, stays closed, and washes easy. It’s only good for one sandwich, so there’s no room for piggy business or date night with this size. You should get one and quit using disposable shit. Or better yet make your own. Here’s a video about doing just that.