Yesterday was our dear friend’s Shawn Lovejoy’s birthday! Lauren Gregory and I were hanging out together that day anyway (she was painting my portrait!), so we wanted to do something special for our special friend. We decided to make him an edible platform for which he can blow out all his 69 candles.

I know that Shawn doesn’t particularly enjoy eating sweet things, but we wanted to make something for Shawn that highlighted one of his greatest assets: his handsomeness.

Rice Krispie treats seemed like a good way to go, because even the most savory tongue cannot resist this texture-overloaded marshmallow snack. Plus, in a bar setting, this sort of dessert is conducive to catering to a tipsy crowd, with no patience for plates and forks, and can act as a willing carb sponge for the liquid spirits swimming in our stomachs.

Rice Krispie treats proved to be a great sculpting material! When the marshmallow and cereal mixture is JUUUSST mixed together and the marshmallow glue is still warm, THIS is when it is the MOST MALLEABLE! Lauren was all over this. She grabbed the stick of butter like it was some chapstick, and smeared it all over her hands. This creates a resist, so that the goopy marshmallow rice cereal mix doesn’t stick to your hands as you’re sculpting it. I did the same, and we smooshed it around for a while until it looked like a handsome guy. The handsome guy shape we made kept slumping to look like a handsome FAT guy.

We used marshmallow/chocolate cereal mix for the hair. Also, confession, we did not use anything brand name. Real brand name Rice Krispies at the store was like $8.00?!?!? We found a great generic equivalent for $1.99. Also, we used generic marshmallows as well. We found some great strawberry-flavored marshmallows shaped like hearts for $0.99/bag! Mixed with the beige rice cereal, the pink strawberry marshmallows made quite a nice realistic flesh tone!

The eye cavity area was a little tricky to sculpt. He was not quite “handsome.” Finally we put some real fashion sunglasses on him, and he looked like the baddest motherfucker.

We brought it to the party and everyone ate it and looked happy.


jo-jo’s shave ice

What a winty little place this is. Kandi Everett (who I had just met 2 days ago, and who is amazing) and I went to Jo-jo’s Shave Ice after an afternoon of staring out at the Kalalau valley at Koke State Park and taking in the views at Waimea Canyon.

What is really fun about Jo-jo’s is that there is an option to put ice cream UNDERNEATH your shaved ice! You know how the problem with shaved ice is how it might get boring to eat after a while? Putting ice cream underneath solves this problem. And you know how sometimes ice cream might be too rich to eat a lot of, watering it down with some shaved ice really helps. This was a perfect little dessert.

I got the “Picknick special” which was watermelon and lemonade shaved ice over macadamia nut ice cream.

Kandi’s was way better. Hers had coconut syrup and coconut cream shaved ice over macademia nut ice cream, with shredded coconut on top. You would think that this might be too overwhelming with coconut flavors, but I learned in this scenario, that there can never really be too much coconut. This shave ice cup was rich, refreshing, and awesome.

Here is Kandi and me! After an afternoon of looking at some EPIC landscapes, this was the perfect way to cap it off.

I made popsicles

So I impulsively bought some popsicle molds the other day. I had all this fruit in the fridge and on the shelves and in the freezer that I knew I was never going to eat, and I had already eaten pie 2 days in a row, and quite frankly, watching all this fruit just lay around was really stressing me out.

I had some bananas, some frozen blueberries, and a tray of strawberries. I was like, oh duh, I’ll just make these popsicles.

First I pureed the fruit with a hand blender. I drizzled a little sweetened condensed milk in with all the fruit.

For fun, I added some bee pollen in with the banana mix.

Is bee pollen good even for you? I wondered briefly.

This website says NO. If you have allergies, you can die, and if you’re trying to cure yourself from diseases, maybe try taking some medicine, instead of messing with this hippy shit.

This website says YES. The benefits being weight-loss, prostate care, PMS relief, better sex life, the list really goes on…

Who cares really, it’s really weird and tastes magical, and that’s good enough for me.

So, after everything was pureed, I loaded the popsicle molds and put them in the freezer.

And there they sat overnight.

This morning when I woke up, all I could think about was, oh boy! Time to eat a popsicle! I ran one of them under warm water…

And then I popped it out and ate the shit out of it!!

It was SO GOOD!! Especially because of the real fruit aspect of it. And the sweetened condensed milk flavor really saved it from being a boring fruit pop.

So after I finished my popsicle and washed out the mold, I looked back in the freezer and looked at the lonely spot where the popsicle I ate once was. I felt terrible for it for some reason, so I immediately filled the mold back up with something, anything that I could find, you know.

This Vitaminka juice is my jam!! Any variety! This kind is carrot, banana, and apple flavor. I filled up the popsicle mold with it and stuck it back in the freezer. After it froze I ate it. This is a good popsicle too! (Albeit, much healthier tasting.) Summer just got a lot more WINTY.

Refrigerated Pie Crusts are changing my life

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a pretty timid baker. I’m terrible at measuring things, I don’t like to measure, I don’t have the patience to wait for things to rise, I mix things poorly, I set timers and forget about them, etc… But boy oh boy, do I love to eat pie!!

And then, Peter Van Hyning opened up my eyes to the world of ready made pie crusts. I’ve been using this kind:

Much to my happiness, all I had to do was:

  • preheat the oven (I set mine at 400 because it runs a little hot, but I think the instructions call for 450)
  • unroll one of these bad boys onto a pie tin
  • load it up with some fruit (I used RHUBARB for this pie)
  • sprinkle some sugar and flour on top
  • unroll the second pie crust on top
  • cut out a funny face:

  • And then I baked it for 30-45 minutes.
  • BOOM, you have a hot pie.

I ate the crap out of it!! And it was so good!

I made another pie yesterday with strawberries and bananas, and that also ruled. If I make enough of these pies, maybe one day I’ll stop being a pussy and make my own pie crust.

2010 GSS jello mold competition highlights

This happened June 26th, 2010. These photos have been sitting in my camera for a little while now, which is great because it was able to preserve this memory for me! So apparently according to these photos, I remembered that I hosted the Jell-o Mold Design Competition at the Gowanus Studio Space. I got to eat all the jell-o I ever wanted to eat, and there were some awesome ones and also some that looked really crazy! Jello is crazy because you can make it look and taste however you want, and what makes it jello is the fact that it is jiggly, and flavored, and molded. I had a great time!!!!

Here are a few that I ate there:

Apple pie, everything here was jello, even the crust. This contestant made velvet cake and the pink coconut donut as well. These tasted awesome, and I’m pretty sure they won the Flavor Award as well.

This sushi was made with agar agar. Someone always pulls out the agar agar at the jello competition, and nine times out of ten they are asian and they know what they are talking about. This sushi was fruity and refreshing without the horse hoof aftertaste.

Tiles. These were awesomely sugary.

I can’t lie, didn’t eat these oysters, which were oyster and beer flavored? I pussied out.

I didn’t eat these either.

There were a few people really into this Pill theme.

This is classic. These were surprisingly pleasurably bitter as well because of it setting in the rind.

These CUPS were made of JELLO.

Not sure….

I can’t remember what this tasted like!! It was weeks ago!!

I was a little psyched on these really crazy tray presentations.

And CORN!! hahaha!! This person probably wins the WTF award, with their corn light bulb chandelier. The jellos here were deliciously savory.

This was the GRAND PRIZE winner this year. These bloody virgin mary’s were actually very strong in Vodka flavor as well. The flavor is unforgettably a solidified well-crafted bloody mary.

More pills…

I was really psyched on this as well and would probably win second place in the WTF category. These are inspired by the boobtacular turd processing plant in Greenpoint!! The flavor was a very pleasant raspberry vanilla.

This is supposed to depict the recent oil spill disaster.

This depicts something really crazy.

These crafty contestants made a Tiffany Lamp. The metal part is gum paste.

These trophy heads were my second favorite next to the bloody mary’s in the flavor category. It’s pork flavored and beef flavored. They tasted just like refrigerated pho broth.

These were the cute ribbons the winners took home. Congratulations!!!

Q-Bees.. WTF!?

So, this afternoon after a thrilling Fish and Chips Lunch, complete with Bloody Marys at Duke of Perth , Shawn not so subtly hinted that he wanted a sweet cold treat to round out his fried food fullness. So I hopped out of the car and headed to the store with the intention of picking up some frozen snickers bars. Alas there were none. HOWEVER,  lo and behold I found there in the freezer, Q-bees (pronounced cube-eez)!

Which are Rice Krispie (style) Treats filled with ice cream, and available  in three flavors each with their own name and anthropomorphic idiosyncrasies. Dave, the chocolate tree hugger and outdoors man, Esquivel the vanilla extreme sports enthusiast, and Suzy Cube, the ubiquitous strawberry girl flavor. After searching around, and coming up with little to nothing about them on the internet, I did find out that this company  is trying new marketing stuff this year, and has since developed new looks for each of the different flavors, hats, lady faces, up dos, and each of them also have twitter pages where you can read along as they bicker Twitter style. SO BIZARRE. Nothing makes me want to eat a vanilla treat  like reading a transcript of  it making fun of the strawberry treat’s obsession with wearing pink outfits while the chocolate flavor insists every one “chillax.”  Anyway, I picked up a pack of the vanilla, as these were this was the only flavor available at the Dominick’s near me.

Here, Shawn considers the cube and then devours it.

So the long and short is, this is a nice little cube of ice cream with a crispy sweet out side, but it really didn’t hold up to the excitement my brain and stomach created while the helped me imagineer a Rice Crispy Treat pregnant with vanilla ice cream. It was weird. Now I almost forgot to mention that this treat is all natural. The whole thing is kosher, vegetarian, and the cream is from cows that are growth hormone free. Which could go either way really, they could be the less than delicious, and sort of “fat free” or “diet” tasting, or they could be extra good rich “handmade” tasting. Sadly after much debate, we decided that there was something sorta Boca about the taste, being totally slammable, but not as good as the bad for you real deal.

And there you have it kids, tasty, good for you, almost entirely guilt free, but not as interesting as advertised.