Yesterday was our dear friend’s Shawn Lovejoy’s birthday! Lauren Gregory and I were hanging out together that day anyway (she was painting my portrait!), so we wanted to do something special for our special friend. We decided to make him an edible platform for which he can blow out all his 69 candles.

I know that Shawn doesn’t particularly enjoy eating sweet things, but we wanted to make something for Shawn that highlighted one of his greatest assets: his handsomeness.

Rice Krispie treats seemed like a good way to go, because even the most savory tongue cannot resist this texture-overloaded marshmallow snack. Plus, in a bar setting, this sort of dessert is conducive to catering to a tipsy crowd, with no patience for plates and forks, and can act as a willing carb sponge for the liquid spirits swimming in our stomachs.

Rice Krispie treats proved to be a great sculpting material! When the marshmallow and cereal mixture is JUUUSST mixed together and the marshmallow glue is still warm, THIS is when it is the MOST MALLEABLE! Lauren was all over this. She grabbed the stick of butter like it was some chapstick, and smeared it all over her hands. This creates a resist, so that the goopy marshmallow rice cereal mix doesn’t stick to your hands as you’re sculpting it. I did the same, and we smooshed it around for a while until it looked like a handsome guy. The handsome guy shape we made kept slumping to look like a handsome FAT guy.

We used marshmallow/chocolate cereal mix for the hair. Also, confession, we did not use anything brand name. Real brand name Rice Krispies at the store was like $8.00?!?!? We found a great generic equivalent for $1.99. Also, we used generic marshmallows as well. We found some great strawberry-flavored marshmallows shaped like hearts for $0.99/bag! Mixed with the beige rice cereal, the pink strawberry marshmallows made quite a nice realistic flesh tone!

The eye cavity area was a little tricky to sculpt. He was not quite “handsome.” Finally we put some real fashion sunglasses on him, and he looked like the baddest motherfucker.

We brought it to the party and everyone ate it and looked happy.


jo-jo’s shave ice

What a winty little place this is. Kandi Everett (who I had just met 2 days ago, and who is amazing) and I went to Jo-jo’s Shave Ice after an afternoon of staring out at the Kalalau valley at Koke State Park and taking in the views at Waimea Canyon.

What is really fun about Jo-jo’s is that there is an option to put ice cream UNDERNEATH your shaved ice! You know how the problem with shaved ice is how it might get boring to eat after a while? Putting ice cream underneath solves this problem. And you know how sometimes ice cream might be too rich to eat a lot of, watering it down with some shaved ice really helps. This was a perfect little dessert.

I got the “Picknick special” which was watermelon and lemonade shaved ice over macadamia nut ice cream.

Kandi’s was way better. Hers had coconut syrup and coconut cream shaved ice over macademia nut ice cream, with shredded coconut on top. You would think that this might be too overwhelming with coconut flavors, but I learned in this scenario, that there can never really be too much coconut. This shave ice cup was rich, refreshing, and awesome.

Here is Kandi and me! After an afternoon of looking at some EPIC landscapes, this was the perfect way to cap it off.

I made popsicles

So I impulsively bought some popsicle molds the other day. I had all this fruit in the fridge and on the shelves and in the freezer that I knew I was never going to eat, and I had already eaten pie 2 days in a row, and quite frankly, watching all this fruit just lay around was really stressing me out.

I had some bananas, some frozen blueberries, and a tray of strawberries. I was like, oh duh, I’ll just make these popsicles.

First I pureed the fruit with a hand blender. I drizzled a little sweetened condensed milk in with all the fruit.

For fun, I added some bee pollen in with the banana mix.

Is bee pollen good even for you? I wondered briefly.

This website says NO. If you have allergies, you can die, and if you’re trying to cure yourself from diseases, maybe try taking some medicine, instead of messing with this hippy shit.

This website says YES. The benefits being weight-loss, prostate care, PMS relief, better sex life, the list really goes on…

Who cares really, it’s really weird and tastes magical, and that’s good enough for me.

So, after everything was pureed, I loaded the popsicle molds and put them in the freezer.

And there they sat overnight.

This morning when I woke up, all I could think about was, oh boy! Time to eat a popsicle! I ran one of them under warm water…

And then I popped it out and ate the shit out of it!!

It was SO GOOD!! Especially because of the real fruit aspect of it. And the sweetened condensed milk flavor really saved it from being a boring fruit pop.

So after I finished my popsicle and washed out the mold, I looked back in the freezer and looked at the lonely spot where the popsicle I ate once was. I felt terrible for it for some reason, so I immediately filled the mold back up with something, anything that I could find, you know.

This Vitaminka juice is my jam!! Any variety! This kind is carrot, banana, and apple flavor. I filled up the popsicle mold with it and stuck it back in the freezer. After it froze I ate it. This is a good popsicle too! (Albeit, much healthier tasting.) Summer just got a lot more WINTY.

Refrigerated Pie Crusts are changing my life

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a pretty timid baker. I’m terrible at measuring things, I don’t like to measure, I don’t have the patience to wait for things to rise, I mix things poorly, I set timers and forget about them, etc… But boy oh boy, do I love to eat pie!!

And then, Peter Van Hyning opened up my eyes to the world of ready made pie crusts. I’ve been using this kind:

Much to my happiness, all I had to do was:

  • preheat the oven (I set mine at 400 because it runs a little hot, but I think the instructions call for 450)
  • unroll one of these bad boys onto a pie tin
  • load it up with some fruit (I used RHUBARB for this pie)
  • sprinkle some sugar and flour on top
  • unroll the second pie crust on top
  • cut out a funny face:

  • And then I baked it for 30-45 minutes.
  • BOOM, you have a hot pie.

I ate the crap out of it!! And it was so good!

I made another pie yesterday with strawberries and bananas, and that also ruled. If I make enough of these pies, maybe one day I’ll stop being a pussy and make my own pie crust.