Zombee Pee Pee

Food is so good coming in that most people rarely think about it’s exit voyage. Or perhaps they only consider the necessity preventative measures. You know like nobody wants to drink too much coffee before they get on the plane or eat a spicy, greezee meal before their date with that special someone. But I personally like to think of all the great upcoming bowel movements I’ll be having when I eat a well balanced diet! And so I’d like to now present to you a recipe that will focus not on a delish taste sensation but instead on your pee pee. Let’s have fun with what goes in the potty!!!

You will need a juicer and these things for juicing:

BEETS! some Carrots! and Apples to make it taste good and juicey!

Juice those things! I typically do 2 beets, 1 carrot, 2 apples (cored)

And the entree shall include:


Lightly steam these with some butter and salt/pepper to taste but be careful not to overcook! nice and crisp, that’s the ticket! Put an egg on it! Delicious!

Wasn’t that delicious and nutritious too? A pile of crisp asparagus stalks MMM! and some tasty beet juice to wash it all down. Now we wait. Perhaps a cup of coffee or some beer will speed the process………………………………………………..

DING! TIME TO PEE PEE! Isn’t it horrible? Aren’t you terrified? The beets have stained your pee red and the asparagus is well known for that terrible roadkill odor it produces in your pee pee. It’s like peeing carrion. It’s like peeing real gore. Are you dead inside? Haha! MAYBE! Aren’t you disgusted? You’ll freak so bad you’ll forget to wipe! Show that pee to your mom, maybe she will take you to the doctor and then you don’t have to go to school today because your insides are rotten. Feed this recipe to your unsuspecting friends and enemies! They will be confused!

Tell everyone that your pee pee brings the scent of DEATH because it will be true. It will also be funny because in the same area you can create life.



  1. awww… i did this and while i didn’t really notice a funky smell… the red shit was totally there, and i found it refreshing. Like redecorating my pee, not to mention the bowl.

  2. I love roasted beet turds because they turn the toilet water into the color of pastel easter egg dye. I send everyone pictures of it every time.

  3. Hi,

    I once heard about this guy (probably an urban myth, but funny anyway) who was on these antibiotic tablets. He went to a rave party, lots of music, drinks flashing lights and stuff, but it was outside in a barn or something. He had a lot to drink and needed to relieve himself, but as it was a barn there were no toilets, so he goes into a corner and lets it go. Problem was the tablets had made his pee flourescent and the black lights from the party lit his pee up like a laser beam, you could see it from the other side of the party. 🙂


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