THE SEEMY UNDERBELLY OF CANDY

Smarties are a total mystery to me.  They taste like very slightly flavored chalk, I have seen them for sale anywhere but the gaint bins of “assorted” gross candy you can buy at 95 cents a pound, and NO ONE LIKES THEM.  Okay, okay.  Before this gets a million comments (it will not get a million comments) about how some of you with no taste buds “like” Smarties, I will re-phrase that: “No one LOVES Smarties”.  I have never heard anyone open the candy bag on Halloween and squeal: “Yes!  Smarties!”  (unless they have gluten issues.)  This flies in the face of smarties.com’s bold claim that Smarties are “America’s Favorite Candy”. Uh, just because you make a billion of them and cheap grandparents and offices buy them en masse doesn’t mean they are a nation’s FAVORITE.  However, it seems as though there is one thing they ARE good for: making yourself look like a total rebellious badass.

KIDS!

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