What’s better than a bison burger? A country-fried bison burger!

That’s right kids. Just when you thought it safe to sell bison near me, just when you thought that you could get away with telling me that not only is bison the leanest red meat out there, but that it is actually really good for you, I laugh in your face. Ha. Because I’ve taken care of this meat’s wanton desire to be acceptable to hippies and arterial do-gooders, by crushing it;and by dipping it in egg and flour, then more egg and more flour, and deep frying it so hard an Indian somewhere shed a single tear!

OK, OK, just kidding … any way, at the local Food Co-op where I shop mostly because it is easy to get to, but also because I can get guilt free groceries at a modest price, I noticed a sad looking fridge had been plugged in next to the day old bagels. On it was a sign declaring that inside this sad a tired fridge were several pounds of bison meat, which I could purchase and take home to cook. I was elated. I had been meaning to make some burgers, and this would take them to the next level simply by not being cow’s meat.

BUT, when I got home I realized that I did not have any buns and such, and my plan had been momentarily foiled. So I gave it day, let the meat thaw, and read the book my mom had given me for Christmas entitled “Are You Really Gonna Eat That?” filled with some fun stories by a foodie from Texas with some really great ideas about authenticity and greasy spoons. Anyway, there is a chapter in which he describes what he believes to be a Texas institution, The Country Fried Steak. It is in his honor, that I began the process of deep frying and later enjoying the aforementioned bison.

bison patties fried to scale

Here I have placed the bison patties post frying on a plate near a VHS copy of “Dark Days” a 2000 documentary about people living in tunnels, with a soundtrack by DJ shadow, to show scale and grandeur.

A note about Bison before I continue: While I will later say that this was a delicious meal, there were some technical difficulties with cooking the bison that I had not taken into account when I started to cook the meat. One is that because of it’s relatively fat-less make up, the meat has a tendency to become dry very quickly when cooked. This was countered by the fact that I fried it. Another issue is that it’s fatlessnessity means that it’s patty-ing abilities were also weird, the meat just wanted to stay ground… sticky, yes, but sort of like trying to patty tapioca.

SO, in conclusion this was a delicious meal, and in the interest of my greater health i opted not to serve it with a thick ham gravy, but instead a tomato and carrot gravy, and serve it over rice and sugar snap peas! In essence making not chicken fried steak or bison burgers, but Deep Fried Bison Swiss Steak!

Deep Fried Bison Swiss Steak Yeah!



  1. The Indian cries when you take a dump. (Rim shot)
    What light-hearted romp are you going to measure food with next? Capturing The Freidmans?

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